Settling The Dahi Gender Debate

This one is for Hindi speaking individuals — for those of you who aren’t native Hindi speakers, I’m sure you’ll find the following post amusing (weigh in if you’d like with examples in your own native language).

For many years there has been a raging debate in my house. Is dahi (yogurt) male or female?

Growing up, I always knew dahi to be a cool female.

She would spend her time in the metal container changing form overnight thanks to her helper bacteria friends.

From a dripping liquid to a silk, smooth satiny texture, she would appear transformed in the mornings.

I despised her virginity, though.

I always needed to embellish her … Chopped cucumber, tomatoes, onions, a dash of red chilling powder, roasted cumin and salt, and boy, did she go from cool cat to snapping hot vixen. Muaah!

When I got married, my husband insisted she was a he.

It’s always been a he, he’d say.

Whosoever thinks of dahi as a female? He’s robust, he makes you strong(er). How could I mistake his velvety coolness and power-packed muscle-building qualities for effeminate virtues?

He was to be savored stark. No sugar, no salt. Just enjoyed simply with veggies and rice.

When the debate got really intense, my husband would always quiet me with: Dahi comes from doodh (milk) … And doodh is male, right? You don’t say “doodh khatam ho gayi” (there is no milk), do you?

Hmm…no. Doodh is male. Sure. But…Doodh isn’t dahi. And “lassi (made from dahi) meethi hoti hai” would be my retort.

I’ve never won the argument, but I’ve also continued to fight it. I’ve found many supporters … People who, like me, consider dahi to be female. But so has my husband. Right now our camps seem equally divided.

So, I’m taking this domestic dispute to the interwebs in hopes of a final resolution. Take the poll and add your comment