It took me three readings to realize that Vincent Augustine D’Souza wasn’t joking or being sarcastic in his post about marital rape being an oxymoron. He says:
A woman who does not want to have sex with her husband should separate from him and file for divorce.
And goes on to add that:
A woman has no right to say No to sex with her husband unless it is for some particular reason and for specific period like sickness, menstrual cycle, advanced stage of pregnancy or for a certain period after childbirth or sadness due to something like a death in the family or if the husband has a communicable or venereal disease which will result in woman getting the disease.
Really, Mr. D’Souza? And who, pray, determines that? Who gave you or people like you the authority to tell a woman when she may or may not agree to have sexual intercourse?
Whatever happened to a woman’s free will? Did you chain it, add weight and dunk it in the village well when she got married?
I shouldn’t be shocked at this patriarchal attitude but it boils my blood no less.
For people like Mr. D’Souza a woman is just like an inflatable doll who will do as she is told — inside the bedroom and outside it.
It is because of people like these, that marital rape will never be recognized as domestic abuse in countries like India.
After all, acknowledging that such a thing exists would put “husbands at risk!” Never mind the fact that a woman is being sexually prodded against her will over and over again.
Please give his blog post a read and if it leaves you agitated, do speak your mind.
HOLY SMOKES
for a second when i read the title of your article, i came to lambast you that how dare you even say this in day in age. I realized those are not your words. I hundred percent agree with you and since when did marriage become only about sex? Aren't there other pressing issues that need taking care of in a marriage?/ what about the emotions of the spouses? intimacy? not just sexual intimacy.
This kind of mentality does trivialize the issue of marital rape, as well it undermines a woman's sexuality and emotional well-being. For women, sex has a lot to do with EMOTIONS. There are days you just DON'T want to have sex. it doesn't mean you hate your husband or he makes you not want to have sex with him, but rather you are just not in the mood. If anything, forcing to have sex would kill any future desire to want to have sex with that person.
The first time my husband and I were together and were to consummate our marriage, I was sh*t scared. It took us 3 months to do the deed and his patience and love during that time just made me love and respect him that much more and added to the intimacy of our relationship.
all i have to say to Mr. D'Souza is "F*CK YOU" and i don't mean in the good sex kind of way---