This morning, at work, I received a call from the meeting organiser that she can't schedule a meeting for me until mid-october as my outlook calendar is full and asked me to make space for an urgent upcoming meeting. Trying to make space for this sudden meeting I see that the calendar is full for next 2 weeks and some of them are back to back. I see myself being overscheduled ….again! And it’s not just at work!
Now that I had these few moments to re-schedule my calendar (work and home), while re-shuffling, I found that my 8 year old daughter Noa’s life is also full of activities. I am rather embarrassed to say over-booked for an 8 year old. Painting for 2 hours on Sundays, Physics on Mondays and Comics on Wednesdays ,and thank God her Folk Dance and Music classes are during school time, where I don’t have to bother about her transportation.
This got me thinking…Am I overscheduling my kid’s life too?
Are too many activities putting her under pressure and more over the pressure to be good in everything she does? As in most of the cases, I googled the bad causes and effects of overscheduling children’s lives and I have promised myself never again will I google anything related to my kids….The answers are extreme and weird , one of the possible causes being “having me as a mom”! Well, have reached a conclusion that I will depend only on my insticts or talking it out to humans and not machines when it comes to my kids.
In an attempt to give my daughter everything I can afford, am I giving her too much? Am I being a bad mom? I hate to be wrong…especially when it comes to parenting. While I am sulking with these thoughts, I get a call from my dear daughter telling me how excited she is about going to her Physics class this afternoon and started educating me about the law of gravity and how it all seems just like magic .
In a spur of a moment, my thoughts turn 360 degrees and love the excitement in her voice and go back thinking as of where did it all start and what could possibly be wrong in all the organized activities she is involved in? The glow in her eyes after she completes a painting or animation, the excitement of the different laws of physics that she learns in fun way and having a logical explanation to the beautiful world around her has just boosted her self esteem. She is not pressured into these activities. This is something she likes to do and inspite of my resentment she chose to learn Comics over Robotics and I did support her which was not so academically correct decision.
Out-of- school programs can add to the childs enjoyment and excitement, along with encouragement and suport from parents and in turn build different skills in them, provided they are spending their time doing things they like to do. It can also give them a sense of purpose of achieving something and more over attending these extra classes every week, same time can give them a sense of discipline and time management and commitment from an early age.
Quality family time is important, I hear some of my well-meanings friends say, well , Instead of spending time watching T.V. , doing chores or playing games on smart phones and computers, the time is being well spent learning different skills. Family time is not sacrificed too as in the evenings when we all are home after a long day, we are together discussing her extra activities and her younger sister awed by every painting that she gets home or amazed with the tricks she learns in Physics class.
Familiy priorities are still the first on my calendar with nothing coming in between our cherished moments. It takes a lot of discipline, vigilance and long range planning to find that balance in life and to be in control of our surroundings.
I am trying to give my family the best I can, to give them ample time, to take care of my kids, work, home , husband and ME(yes, in that order) in the best way I can . I am trying to be less judgemental about my daughters performances and be more nurturing. As is said, “childhood is just a preparation, not a full performance”! I don’t know if I will succeed in everything but the point is that I am trying!
Back to my calendar, I rediscovered how the back to back meetings are just not efficient and just deleted them creating ample space not just for that urgent meeting but for MYSELF!
