The Body Language of Love

Have you heard of an instrument called ‘Lovometre’, a gadget that measures love between couples? If you are sad and surprised that you haven’t..don’t be, cause neither have I! Laughs aside, do you think there would be a day where we could love/measure how much OR how less couples want/love each other? Most men will agree to this, that the most common question that they are asked by their partners/spouses, etc is “How much do you love me?” Granted that it can be irritating at times, but one must go to the root cause of ‘the need to know, how much one is loved’

But come to think of it, there is one such way of measuring a couple’s love for each other and in fact even the nature of their love for each other. How? I thought of asking each couple the same question and gauge their reactions.
 
Check this out-

Kailash and Nalini are a couple who stay in Bangalore, I met them about two months back in a group activity in the city. The first thing that struck me about them was their physical proximity to each other.Whenever they were seen together, they couldn’t seem to take off their hands from each other. While this would be embarrassing for others in the group at times, to them it was perfectly normal way of expressing their love. They spoke less and when they did it was full of passion, one could say they spoke more with their bodies and their eyes. Over a period of time, as I became close to Nalini, I teased her one day about it, and she confessed that, that’s how it had been for them from day one. According to her, as people they both believed in physical expression of their love and touching each other all through the day was one way of expression and according to her the best way! Nalini and Kailash called each other as ‘Jaan’. When I asked them my question- “Would you be jealous if your partner showed interest in a person of the opposite sex?” I remember Nalini’s reply, she stared at me for a while grim faced and said, “I would kill him”. Kailas’s reply if not in the same words, was pretty much the same.

Quite in contrast to Kailash and Nalini are a pair of newly weds, who happen to be my neighbors. Mrinal and Sukhwinder, both are of the same age. They are constantly bickering with each other and pulling each other’s leg. I’ve often seen them kicking and hitting each other in jest and calling each other names. The husband calls his wife ‘Chotu jan’ and the wife calls her husband ‘motu jan’. When I first head this I laughed my head off, even as Mrinal explained that being in college together had made them more like friends and this was their way of expressing their love to each other. The couple’s body language included, pulling each other’s hair, cuddling the cheeks, running around each other in jest, etc. Most people would find them amusing and pass it off as childish behavior. Of course this isn’t to say that their love is not mature or any less than the former couple, just that its expression is different. When I asked them my question about their reaction to their partner showing interest in another, Mrinal said “I would ask him, talk to him about it and try to find out, the reason for it.” “If I found that he is serious about the other person, he should continue with her, if it’s a casual admiration, I wouldn’t have any problems”. “ So would you remain friend’s?” I ask, “ Maybe, maybe not”, they reply. Cool, huh!

Jayprakash and Jaya are an interesting couple I met on a photography workshop. Jaya is a professional photographer and Jayprakash is a writer. They both share the love of books. Whenever I see them together, there is this untouchable kind of tenderness that exists about them. Both are unmarried and middle aged, though Jaya much is much younger to Jayprakash. Jaya is full of fun and curious and Jayaprakash seems to balance her in his studious and somber manner. They do not touch each other in public; neither do they use any endearments while talking. They call each other by their names and seem quite a practical couple. And yet there is a weird softness about them. When Jaya puts up her feet after a long day of shoot, she says she always find a cup of coffee ready for her. Jaya and Jayprakash, smile and laugh a lot together, they go for long walks and read to each other. They are a study in dignity. When I ask Jaya, the same question about jealously, she replies that there are certain areas that they both don’t talk about. In that sense there is a certain formality to their relationship, with certain grey areas. She says, “I cannot imagine asking him, if he were to fancy some one else.” “If he would that’s his outlook and his personal matter” In such a case I would expect him to tell me and we could part amicably and remain friends”

In each of these cases, the body language and manner of approaching love or conducting themselves is distinctly different and yet love exists, perhaps in varying degrees. The kind of love they share perhaps differs from one couple to another. Often their body language, or the expressions they use, are a give away of patience, extent of love and the quality of their relation. Body language is indeed a great indicator of any relation and helps us understand different relations better and perhaps to a large extent their depth too.
 

So what’s your body language of Love?